The Necro Critic

Oh.. we're not done with Ehrgeiz just yet! We've only covered one third of the epic levels of blow that this game is. We've still got 4 minigames and Quest mode to deal with.

Trust me, it ain't pretty.

9/18 - Ehrgeiz (part 2)

10/2 - Special movie review

10/16 - The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde (2006 version)

10/30 - Jeckyll + Hyde

11/13 - Top 10 Weirdest Anime

11/27 - Bomberman: Act Zero

Dissidia's coming out next week, and me without a PSP. What's a Final Fantasy fanboy to do?

I guess I could play that OTHER Final Fantasy fighting game, but that would just be stupid.

The other day I was on the IM with my spastic friend, Joel. What Joel didn't know was that I was feeding his messages into ELIZA, an early AI program designed to impersonate a psychologist. The following is the conversation we had.

Joel: Hi.

Necro: How do you do.  Please state your problem.

Joel: I'm not immortal. Fix it!

Necro: Is it because you are not immortal that you came to me?

Joel: Noooo, but I figured if you were offering, may as well aim high

Necro: Do you think its likely that I was offering?

Joel: You seemed to be interested in my problems

Necro: Your problems?

Joel: I didn't come here throwing my problems at you; you asked for them. So,there you go

Necro: Why do you say your problems at I I asked for them?

Joel: "How do you do. Please state your problem." I didn't say this; you did. Fact. So, there you go. My problem. You wanted it, you got it.

Necro: Perhaps in your fantasies we didn't say this each other.

Joel: That sentence didn't make sense

Necro: Earlier you said your problems.

Joel: So did you. Now why were you asking if you didn't want 'em?

Necro: We were discussing you -- not me.

Joel: You act like I sauntered into some genial conversation. You flatly demanded my problems, I provided them. So let's discuss you; what are you gonna do about it now that you have it?

Necro: Oh, I act like you sauntered into some genial conversation?

Joel: You've not exactly been polite, but I'm willing to forgive that. After all, you're only human

Necro: What makes you think I am only human?

Joel: Are you making claims now? Because it'd take more than a human to help me with my problems

Necro: Why are you interested in whether I am making claims now  or not?

Joel: Hey, I got a problem no human can solve. I wouldn't mind making the acquaintance of something more than human

Necro: You say you got a problem no human can solve?

Joel: I told you that, yes

Necro: Do you wish to told me?

Joel: I did, you know

Necro: Can you elaborate on that?

Joel: I'm not immortal, it's a problem. No human has ever solved it to the best of my knowledge

Necro: Do you believe it is normal to be not immortal?

Joel: I believe it's a problem I face; I make no claim for anyone else. Maybe it's not a big deal for them? I don't care. It's a problem for me.

Necro: Do you really think so?

Joel: I know it's a problem; I've got lots of stuff to do, no time to die

Necro: Do you say you know it's a problem i've got lots of stuff to do for some special reason?

Joel: If the truth is a special reason, then yes. Otherwise no; but that doesn't change the fact it's a problem

Necro: Do you wish that the truth is a special reason?

Joel: Well that depends. Do I need a special reason to get help for this problem?

Necro: What would it mean to you if you got a special reason to get help for this problem?

Joel: Well, it would obviously mean that I'd be on my way to dealing with the problem

Necro: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?

Joel: I never claimed to own anything but a problem

Necro: That's quite interesting.

Joel: So, what of it?

Necro: Why do you ask?

Joel: Well, I need to deal with this problem. If you can't help then you're rather wastingmy precious remaining life moments

Necro: Why do you want to deal with this problem?

Joel: We covered this

Necro: Earlier you said your problems at I I asked for them.

Joel: Let's go ahead and assume I did; what of it? Will you help or not? Answer or I waste my time elsewhere

Necro: I'm not sure I understand you fully.

Joel has logged off...

Dear Japan,

You know, I highly repect you.  Your people make up some of the most kind and generous people ever to live.  In Japan, people bow to each other constantly and offer friendly smiles, where as in America, you get a middle finger with an agressive shout of, "Fuck you!"  Japan, I've always wanted to come see you, and witness your culture first hand.  I want to try authentic sushi and go to a REAL arcade.  There are many other points that I could mention to note how much I like you, Japan.  However, there is something I would like to address:

Japan... just know that I still love you, but-

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Your #1 fan,

Necro.