The Necro Critic


Regarding the Lateness of my Videos

Posted on December 24, 2009 at 5:22 AM Comments comments (6)

Hi guys. I've been getting a lot of questions about why the second part of my Halloween Special is so fucking late. Well, for the past couple of months, I've been having some weird issues, because the file absolutely refused to upload anywhere. Also, my computer managed to fuck up the file on my video editor and two of my recorded video files, so I'm having to both re-edit the video and reshoot the last scene.

Please bear with me while I work through all of this. Between this and my Christmas Special (which, due to obvious reasons, is going to be a little late), I'm going to be busier than fuck.

On an entirely unrelated note, I'm busy looking for someone to do title cards for my videos. If you or someone you know is interested, show me some of your art (photobucket, deviantart, etc...) and I'll see if we can work something out. If you work for commissions, please keep in mind that I am both extremely broke and chronically unemployed, so I won't be able to pay commission fees.

EDIT: I've found someone to do title cards. Though I thank everyone else who offered. As far as the videos go, I hope to post my belated Halloween and Christmas specials sometime this week.

Spoony Roast

Posted on November 15, 2009 at 7:41 PM Comments comments (8)

As most of you probably know, I am a member of the Spoony Experiment forums. Today marks the third anniversary of The Spoony Experiment, so me and several other members did a roast of him to honor it.

You should check it out.

NOTE: Sorry that the Jekyll + Hyde review is taking so long, my video editor is being a bitch and won't process it.

My Thoughts on the Snuggie.

Posted on October 12, 2009 at 3:53 AM Comments comments (2)

Why? Oh sweet mother of Christ, why?

When the Snuggie was first advertised, I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. Are people really so retarded that they don't know how to use a blanket? IT'S A FUCKING ROBE THAT YOU WEAR BACKWARDS!!! And yet so many people were stupid enough to buy it, that they made the designer edition. Then came the Snuggie specially designed for kids. I'm sorry, but wasn't one of the original infomercial's claims "One size fits all"?

One would think that the insanity would stop there, but no. They had to think of a way to hemmhorage more money of out the idiots we call humanity. Which brings us to this...

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It's shit like this that makes me lose all hope for humanity.

ELIZA has logged in

Posted on July 22, 2009 at 8:15 PM Comments comments (0)

The other day I was on the IM with my spastic friend, Joel. What Joel didn't know was that I was feeding his messages into ELIZA, an early AI program designed to impersonate a psychologist. The following is the conversation we had.

Joel: Hi.

Necro: How do you do.  Please state your problem.

Joel: I'm not immortal. Fix it!

Necro: Is it because you are not immortal that you came to me?

Joel: Noooo, but I figured if you were offering, may as well aim high

Necro: Do you think its likely that I was offering?

Joel: You seemed to be interested in my problems

Necro: Your problems?

Joel: I didn't come here throwing my problems at you; you asked for them. So,there you go

Necro: Why do you say your problems at I I asked for them?

Joel: "How do you do. Please state your problem." I didn't say this; you did. Fact. So, there you go. My problem. You wanted it, you got it.

Necro: Perhaps in your fantasies we didn't say this each other.

Joel: That sentence didn't make sense

Necro: Earlier you said your problems.

Joel: So did you. Now why were you asking if you didn't want 'em?

Necro: We were discussing you -- not me.

Joel: You act like I sauntered into some genial conversation. You flatly demanded my problems, I provided them. So let's discuss you; what are you gonna do about it now that you have it?

Necro: Oh, I act like you sauntered into some genial conversation?

Joel: You've not exactly been polite, but I'm willing to forgive that. After all, you're only human

Necro: What makes you think I am only human?

Joel: Are you making claims now? Because it'd take more than a human to help me with my problems

Necro: Why are you interested in whether I am making claims now  or not?

Joel: Hey, I got a problem no human can solve. I wouldn't mind making the acquaintance of something more than human

Necro: You say you got a problem no human can solve?

Joel: I told you that, yes

Necro: Do you wish to told me?

Joel: I did, you know

Necro: Can you elaborate on that?

Joel: I'm not immortal, it's a problem. No human has ever solved it to the best of my knowledge

Necro: Do you believe it is normal to be not immortal?

Joel: I believe it's a problem I face; I make no claim for anyone else. Maybe it's not a big deal for them? I don't care. It's a problem for me.

Necro: Do you really think so?

Joel: I know it's a problem; I've got lots of stuff to do, no time to die

Necro: Do you say you know it's a problem i've got lots of stuff to do for some special reason?

Joel: If the truth is a special reason, then yes. Otherwise no; but that doesn't change the fact it's a problem

Necro: Do you wish that the truth is a special reason?

Joel: Well that depends. Do I need a special reason to get help for this problem?

Necro: What would it mean to you if you got a special reason to get help for this problem?

Joel: Well, it would obviously mean that I'd be on my way to dealing with the problem

Necro: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?

Joel: I never claimed to own anything but a problem

Necro: That's quite interesting.

Joel: So, what of it?

Necro: Why do you ask?

Joel: Well, I need to deal with this problem. If you can't help then you're rather wastingmy precious remaining life moments

Necro: Why do you want to deal with this problem?

Joel: We covered this

Necro: Earlier you said your problems at I I asked for them.

Joel: Let's go ahead and assume I did; what of it? Will you help or not? Answer or I waste my time elsewhere

Necro: I'm not sure I understand you fully.

Joel has logged off...


A formal letter to Japan

Posted on July 6, 2009 at 5:37 PM Comments comments (5)

Dear Japan,

You know, I highly repect you.  Your people make up some of the most kind and generous people ever to live.  In Japan, people bow to each other constantly and offer friendly smiles, where as in America, you get a middle finger with an agressive shout of, "Fuck you!"  Japan, I've always wanted to come see you, and witness your culture first hand.  I want to try authentic sushi and go to a REAL arcade.  There are many other points that I could mention to note how much I like you, Japan.  However, there is something I would like to address:

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Japan... just know that I still love you, but-




Your #1 fan,