The Necro Critic


My Thoughts on the Snuggie.

Posted on October 12, 2009 at 3:53 AM Comments comments (2)

Why? Oh sweet mother of Christ, why?

When the Snuggie was first advertised, I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. Are people really so retarded that they don't know how to use a blanket? IT'S A FUCKING ROBE THAT YOU WEAR BACKWARDS!!! And yet so many people were stupid enough to buy it, that they made the designer edition. Then came the Snuggie specially designed for kids. I'm sorry, but wasn't one of the original infomercial's claims "One size fits all"?

One would think that the insanity would stop there, but no. They had to think of a way to hemmhorage more money of out the idiots we call humanity. Which brings us to this...

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It's shit like this that makes me lose all hope for humanity.

Why, the HELL, did I get a Twitter account?

Posted on May 20, 2009 at 2:47 AM Comments comments (0)

Normally, I hate things that are trendy and popular, things like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter etc... And yet, I now have a twitter account. Why? It recently occured to me that people are impatient, even more so when there no explaination for why videos are delayed. So I made it to display updates that were too breif for the blog. But why did I hate Twitter in the first place?

You see, people use Twitter to narrate their life and post the brief, unimportant shit that nobody cares about. things like, "Eating lunch. McDonald's is awesome",and "Taking a dump. Shouldn't have had that taco. lol", and "I hate my life. I'm going to kill myself." And of course celebrity Twitter accounts. I've always wanted to know how Shaquile O'Neal spends his coffee break. Pretty much, I hate Twitter because of people like this...


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So, if you want to keep in touch with site updates, and you have a Twitter account, feel free to follow me.

Stop censoring my childhood, goddammit!

Posted on May 7, 2009 at 1:15 AM Comments comments (5)

I recently bought Chrono Trigger for the DS. This was my favorite game when I was a kid, so I figured why not buy a new port of it. I really like how faithful this version was to the original, while upgrading several things, like the dialogue. However, there were two changes that kinda bugged me. The first of which being that they removed Frog Shakespearean dialect. Not that I'm complaining about that, it's just kinda weird. The one change that pisses me off (albeit mildly) was a certain technique's name change.

Robo's Uzzi Punch was changed to Rapid Fire Fist.

Why? Did they think that kids would be playing this game, see that, and say, "Hey! Uzzi Punch. An Uzzi is a kind of machine gun. I should shoot everyone at my school with a machine gun." Though honestly, this confuses me more than it angers me. With an unimaginative name like Rapid Fire Fist, it's pretty fucking obvious that the word Uzzi was taboo and had to be censored out. A kid isn't going to know what an Uzzi is. My 26-year-old girlfriend didn't even know what an Uzzi was until I told her. When I played the game as a kid, I just thought that Uzzi was a random word that they made up. But what's even stranger is the fact that it was the ONLY thing censored in the game. In fact, several things were kinda UNcensored from the original. Toma's Pop is now Toma's Spirits, Mega Bomb is now Megaton Bomb, Flame Toss is now Flamethrower, and Napalm kept it's original name. So, machine guns are bad, but alcohol, nukes, flamethrowers, and skin erroding chemicals banned by the Geneva Covention aren't?

If you're going to be stupid, at least consistent in your stupidity.

I have officially lost faith in the gaming industry

Posted on April 22, 2009 at 1:48 AM Comments comments (6)

LEGO Rock Band...

Need I say more?