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Stop censoring my childhood, goddammit!

Posted on May 7, 2009 at 1:15 AM

I recently bought Chrono Trigger for the DS. This was my favorite game when I was a kid, so I figured why not buy a new port of it. I really like how faithful this version was to the original, while upgrading several things, like the dialogue. However, there were two changes that kinda bugged me. The first of which being that they removed Frog Shakespearean dialect. Not that I'm complaining about that, it's just kinda weird. The one change that pisses me off (albeit mildly) was a certain technique's name change.


Robo's Uzzi Punch was changed to Rapid Fire Fist.


Why? Did they think that kids would be playing this game, see that, and say, "Hey! Uzzi Punch. An Uzzi is a kind of machine gun. I should shoot everyone at my school with a machine gun." Though honestly, this confuses me more than it angers me. With an unimaginative name like Rapid Fire Fist, it's pretty fucking obvious that the word Uzzi was taboo and had to be censored out. A kid isn't going to know what an Uzzi is. My 26-year-old girlfriend didn't even know what an Uzzi was until I told her. When I played the game as a kid, I just thought that Uzzi was a random word that they made up. But what's even stranger is the fact that it was the ONLY thing censored in the game. In fact, several things were kinda UNcensored from the original. Toma's Pop is now Toma's Spirits, Mega Bomb is now Megaton Bomb, Flame Toss is now Flamethrower, and Napalm kept it's original name. So, machine guns are bad, but alcohol, nukes, flamethrowers, and skin erroding chemicals banned by the Geneva Covention aren't?


If you're going to be stupid, at least consistent in your stupidity.

Categories: Rants

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5 Comments

Reply Ryukemi
9:35 PM on January 29, 2011 
they removed Frog dialect???? those bastards..... that was my favorite thing about him when played chrono trigger.... geez, wish the only thing they change about games was adding some bonuses, like the new boss, or dont change nothing at all and just improve graphics, idk.
Reply Reverend Allan Ironside
6:50 PM on May 7, 2009 
Translation's these days get a bit more attention than they used to. Still, sometimes it can really affect your experience. FOr instance, the re-release of FF 6 on the GBA a few years back had a different translation than theo riginal SNES version. I didn't notice, but one of my friends refused to play the game because the narrative wasn't how he remembered it.

On the other side of the same coin, when they remade Metal Gear Solid for the Gamecube as Twin Snakes, they got everyone to re-do their lines from the game, but All the original actors definitely felt like they were phoning it in--as if they were constantly rolling their eyes when recording and thinking "Why the hell am I doing this all over again?"

Plus, Naomi, Mei-Ling, and Natasha all had their sexy accents missing for American voices. BOO!
Reply Wackman
5:52 PM on May 7, 2009 
I stand by my comment that the change mostly had to do with translation fix. Maybe Rapid Fire Fist is what the japanese meant and the initial translation "Uzzi Punch" didn't really catch the true meaning and Rapid Fire Fist did.

Some other factor could be thrown in, perhaps they had to purposely shorten the name of some moves because of lack of space for the text.
Reply necrocritic
3:03 PM on May 7, 2009 
Wackman says...
I think you mistook the word Uzi, which is in fact the weapon with Uzzi,which is something else.

It was probably a translation fix because a quick google search got me the info that Uzzi means "the lord is my strength". When you compare with the other example you threw in Flame Toss being turn to Flame thrower... i'm pretty sure it was just a translation thing and not a censorship per se.

Maybe Uzzi Punch was a typo on their part, because "The Lord is my Strength Punch" doesn't really make sense. Especially for a robot.
Reply Wackman
6:43 AM on May 7, 2009 
I think you mistook the word Uzi, which is in fact the weapon with Uzzi,which is something else.

It was probably a translation fix because a quick google search got me the info that Uzzi means "the lord is my strength". When you compare with the other example you threw in Flame Toss being turn to Flame thrower... i'm pretty sure it was just a translation thing and not a censorship per se.