|Posted on May 7, 2009 at 1:15 AM|
I recently bought Chrono Trigger for the DS. This was my favorite game when I was a kid, so I figured why not buy a new port of it. I really like how faithful this version was to the original, while upgrading several things, like the dialogue. However, there were two changes that kinda bugged me. The first of which being that they removed Frog Shakespearean dialect. Not that I'm complaining about that, it's just kinda weird. The one change that pisses me off (albeit mildly) was a certain technique's name change.
Robo's Uzzi Punch was changed to Rapid Fire Fist.
Why? Did they think that kids would be playing this game, see that, and say, "Hey! Uzzi Punch. An Uzzi is a kind of machine gun. I should shoot everyone at my school with a machine gun." Though honestly, this confuses me more than it angers me. With an unimaginative name like Rapid Fire Fist, it's pretty fucking obvious that the word Uzzi was taboo and had to be censored out. A kid isn't going to know what an Uzzi is. My 26-year-old girlfriend didn't even know what an Uzzi was until I told her. When I played the game as a kid, I just thought that Uzzi was a random word that they made up. But what's even stranger is the fact that it was the ONLY thing censored in the game. In fact, several things were kinda UNcensored from the original. Toma's Pop is now Toma's Spirits, Mega Bomb is now Megaton Bomb, Flame Toss is now Flamethrower, and Napalm kept it's original name. So, machine guns are bad, but alcohol, nukes, flamethrowers, and skin erroding chemicals banned by the Geneva Covention aren't?
If you're going to be stupid, at least consistent in your stupidity.